FOMO
Have you ever caught yourself constantly checking social media apps for updates, on your mobile? Maybe it's the alerts or the little numbers that show you how many posts you need to look at.
In today’s hyperconnected world, the term FOMO—Fear of Missing Out—has become part of our everyday language. It describes that anxious sense that everyone else is doing something more exciting, fulfilling or meaningful than we are. Social media fuels this feeling constantly: endless feeds of smiling faces, holiday snaps, career milestones, and picture-perfect lifestyles. While FOMO might seem like a modern buzzword, its emotional impact is serious. Increasingly, people report heightened anxiety, low mood, restlessness, and difficulty feeling satisfied in their own lives when consumed by this fear.
At its core, FOMO can destabilise our mental health. It erodes self-esteem, leaving individuals questioning their worth compared to the apparent success of others. This can create a cycle of negative thinking: “Why don’t I have what they have? Why am I not invited? What am I missing?” Over time, this internal dialogue can contribute to symptoms of anxiety and depression. Sleep may be disrupted, concentration may falter, and individuals might find themselves compulsively checking devices for reassurance—only to feel worse afterwards.
What makes FOMO particularly insidious is that it often preys on a universal human need: the desire for connection and belonging. As social beings, we thrive on inclusion and shared experience. Yet the curated, filtered images we consume online rarely represent reality. They magnify feelings of exclusion while concealing the ordinary struggles that everyone faces. The paradox is that in trying to connect digitally, many people feel lonelier than ever.
This is where psychodynamic counselling can offer a powerful way forward. Unlike quick-fix strategies, psychodynamic therapy delves beneath the surface to explore the deeper origins of emotional pain. From a psychodynamic perspective, FOMO is rarely just about social media or missing an event. It often touches upon earlier experiences of exclusion, rejection, or feelings of not being “good enough.” These unconscious patterns, formed in childhood, can be reactivated by adult situations—like scrolling through Instagram and seeing others appear happier or more successful.
In the counselling room, clients are encouraged to bring these feelings into the open. By exploring the roots of envy, inadequacy, or longing, they begin to understand why certain images or situations trigger such powerful emotions. The therapeutic relationship itself provides a safe space to re-experience these dynamics and work through them with compassion and insight. Over time, this process can reduce the compulsion to constantly compare oneself with others, while strengthening a more grounded sense of self-worth.
Psychodynamic counselling also acknowledges the role of defence mechanisms—those unconscious strategies we use to protect ourselves from painful feelings. For example, someone might rationalise their FOMO by telling themselves they “didn’t want to go anyway,” while inwardly feeling hurt. In therapy, gently recognising these patterns allows for healthier, more authentic ways of coping.
Ultimately, addressing FOMO isn’t about abandoning social media or forcing ourselves to stop caring about others. It’s about understanding what lies beneath the fear, and developing resilience to it. Psychodynamic counselling provides the tools to uncover and process those deeper emotions, helping people reconnect with their own values, relationships and joys—independent of what others appear to be doing.
In a culture that constantly tells us we’re missing out, therapy reminds us that the richest experiences come not from comparison, but from living fully and authentically in our own lives.